When you think of bad-asses on the big screen, two names come to mind (besides Chuck Norris of course); Sylvester Stallone (A.K.A. “SLY”) and Arnold Schwarzenegger (“AHHNOLD”). With large muscles and film portfolios filled with kick-ass movies, our goal is simple: find out once and for all “who’s the man”?

NOT “Girly Men”

Steroids aside, both Sly and Arnold were beasts in their prime. Flaunting abnormally large muscles and angry grins that could scare a pack of vicious lions away, these guys looked like they sweated pure testosterone. With an early professional career in body building and a few Mr. Olympia’s under his belt (1970-1975), Arnold clearly had the upper hand in brute strength. In contrast, Stallone earned his build through rigorous training endured during the making of his most successful flicks, Rocky and Rambo. While Arnold could lift really heavy rocks, Stallone could break those bricks with his fists. In the ring, the results could go either way. Arnold’s 6’2″ stature would probably pulverize Stallone’s relatively small 5’9″ body with a crushing grip, but catching him might be a whole other issue as Stallone was built for speed, strength and endurance.

Movies

We can’t go through them all, but when you talk about Stallone; Rambo and Rocky are the standouts. Both these movie series’ featured some of the most memorable moments in “Guy-flick” history. Rocky was even critically acclaimed and won multiple academy awards! The fight scenes in Rocky and the gun fights in Rambo were off the hook and are still being imitated today. Stallone made those moments from Rocky and Rambo unique, successful and so sweet.

The list of kick-ass Arnold flicks and characters is a long one, so bear with us. The three Terminators (four if you include the CGI cameo), Total Recall, Colateral Damage and Predator all come to mind. Let’s be honest though, Arnold made many more attempts at a “diverse” film career than Sly did. Because of this, there were a lot of flops that you just can’t look past. While it’s tough to find a role where Stallone didn’t play a guy carying multiple guns at all times, Arnold was willing to become a more “dynamic” actor. Such flicks as “Kindergarten Cop”, “Twins”, “Junior” and, God help us, “Jingle All the Way” really put a kink in the bid for the title of “The Man”.

Beyond the movies

On and off the screen it seems Stallone doesn’t play any other role than a guy ready for a fight. His most controversial off-screen scandal was getting caught with viles of HGH in Australia. That was a real (insert sarcasm-font here) SHOCKER! In fact, Stallone’s biggest pitfall after his prime in the 80’s has been his attempts at maintaining his bad ass stature into old age. “Rocky V” featuring a 50+ year old Rocky was a critical flop and “Rambo V” was scrapped due to what we can only imagine was was because of the disaster of Rocky V. Both movies were subsequently retired. Also, in less publicized but extremely obvious attempts to stay “the man” he once was, Stallone now looks like a fake plastic version of himself 30 years ago. One could argue he looks younger… nonetheless much more surprised.

Arnold’s off screen life has been much more interesting. In short, he took up politics, became the Governor of California and then got caught up in a sex scandal that cost him his marriage and garnered him a son. That is pretty shocking. It would seem that Arnold’s life off the screen, ever since his film career went on hold, has been more publicized. To top it all off Arnold let down his “guard” on the beach a few times. Some very unflattering pictures surfaced online proving Arnold’s muscles have been beaten badly by the giant stick called old age.

Conclusion

This one’s easy. SLY is the man!